47 tips for moms-to-be I wish someone had told me
Olga R··Motherhood & Real Life Parenting
Everyone gives you advice when you are pregnant. Most of it is about what to buy. Some of it is about what to eat. Almost none of it is about what actually happens to your body, your brain, your relationships and your sense of self once the baby is here.
These are the 47 things I wish someone had said to me before I gave birth. Not the stuff in the books. The stuff between the lines.
Your body (tips 1 to 12)
- Your body will not "bounce back." It will become something new. That is not failure. That is biology. Read about grieving your pre-baby body when you are ready.
- Pelvic floor exercises matter more than any other prenatal workout. Start them now and do not stop.
- Your hair will fall out around month three postpartum. It is called telogen effluvium and it is temporary. Our guide to postpartum hair fall remedies covers what actually helps.
- Night sweats after birth are normal. Your body is shedding the extra fluid from pregnancy. They pass.
- Breastfeeding can hurt at first. That does not mean you are doing it wrong. Get a lactation consultant early, not after weeks of pain.
- You will bleed for weeks after delivery. Stock up on maternity pads. Nobody mentions this enough.
- Your first postpartum bowel movement will feel like a second birth. Stool softeners are your friend. Ask your midwife.
- Eat before the baby eats. Your blood sugar affects your mood, your patience and your milk supply.
- Drink more water than you think you need. Especially if breastfeeding. Keep a bottle at every feeding station.
- A postpartum belly band can help after a C-section but it will not reshape your body. See our honest belly band review for the full picture.
- Book a pelvic floor physiotherapy assessment at 6 weeks. Do not wait until something feels wrong.
- Your dental health can change during pregnancy. Johns Hopkins Medicine recommends scheduling extra cleanings during the second and third trimesters. Pregnancy hormones affect your gums.
Your mental health (tips 13 to 24)
- Postpartum depression affects 1 in 6 women. It is not rare. It is not weakness. It is medical.
- Anxiety is more common than depression postpartum and it is talked about less. If your mind will not stop racing, that is a symptom, not a personality trait.
- Intrusive thoughts are normal. Nearly all new mothers have them. If they become persistent and distressing, that may be perinatal OCD, and it is treatable.
- The EPDS screening is not perfect. A low score does not mean you are fine. Trust yourself. Our EPDS guide explains what it catches and what it misses.
- Therapy is not just for crisis. Consider it before things get bad. Preventive CBT can reduce your risk of PPD by up to 81%. Read more in why every new mom should consider therapy.
- "Baby blues" last about two weeks. If sadness or numbness continues beyond that, speak to someone.
- You are allowed to not enjoy the newborn stage. That does not make you ungrateful. It makes you honest.
- Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. Treat it seriously. Accept every offer of help that lets you sleep.
- Your identity will shift. That process is called matrescence. It is a developmental stage, not a crisis.
- Comparison is the fastest route to misery. Unfollow anyone who makes you feel worse about your parenting.
- Write things down. Three sentences a day. You will not remember this season clearly and you will wish you had.
- The WHO estimates that 10% of pregnant women and 13% of new mothers develop a mental health disorder. You are not alone in this. Ever.
Your relationships (tips 25 to 33)
- Your relationship will change after the baby. Not necessarily for the worse, but it will change. Read Gottman's And Baby Makes Three before the due date.
- Divide labour before the baby arrives. Do not negotiate at 3am with a screaming newborn. Have the conversation now.
- Accept that you will resent your partner at some point. That is normal. What matters is whether you talk about it.
- Your parents will have opinions. Some will be helpful. Some will not. Setting boundaries early saves months of tension. Our guide to when your parents become grandparents covers this in detail.
- Friendships will shift. Some friends will show up. Some will disappear. Let both happen without taking it personally.
- You do not owe anyone a birth story. You do not have to perform your experience for other people's curiosity.
- Visitors in the first two weeks should bring food, not expectations. Set that boundary before the birth.
- Sex will be different after the baby. Give it time. Our honest guide to sex after baby covers what nobody else says.
- Your partner cannot read your mind. Ask for what you need clearly. Resentment grows in the gap between unexpressed needs and unmet expectations.
Practical survival (tips 34 to 42)
- Batch-cook and freeze meals in the third trimester. Your future self will thank you at 6pm on a Tuesday.
- Lower your standards for the house. A messy home is not a moral failing. Read about home organisation for overwhelmed moms when you are ready, not before.
- Buy duplicates of essentials. Nappies upstairs and downstairs. Muslins in every room. Chargers at every feeding station.
- Lay out your clothes the night before. Decision fatigue is real and it starts at 6am.
- The pram you choose matters less than you think. The one that fits in your car boot and folds with one hand is the right one.
- Download a white noise app before the baby arrives. It will be your most-used tool.
- Meal planning saves sanity. Our list of 25 family-friendly dinners is built for exactly this.
- You do not need everything the registry lists. You need nappies, a safe sleep space, something to feed with and someone to call when it gets hard.
- Keep a "go bag" packed from week 36. Include snacks. The snacks matter more than the birth plan.
Things nobody says out loud (tips 43 to 47)
- You will love your baby and miss your old life at the same time. Both things are true.
- Some days you will wonder if you made a mistake. That thought does not make you a bad mother. It makes you a person adjusting to the biggest change of your life.
- Postpartum recovery takes 6 to 12 months minimum, not 6 weeks. Our trimester-by-trimester recovery guide explains the real timeline.
- You will cry more than the baby some days. Hormones are powerful. Give yourself the grace you would give a friend.
- You are going to be okay. Not perfect. Not always happy. But okay. And okay, in the middle of this, is more than enough.
"Approximately 10% of pregnant women and 13% of women who have just given birth experience a mental health disorder, primarily depression. The perinatal period is a time of great vulnerability where mental health is particularly at risk." - eClinicalMedicine / The Lancet (2024)
One last thing
You will not remember all 47 of these. That is fine. Bookmark this page and come back to it at 2am when the baby is feeding and your brain is looking for something useful to hold onto.
You are already doing the hardest and most important thing: preparing to become someone's whole world. You do not need to be ready. You just need to begin.
Sources and further reading
- eClinicalMedicine / The Lancet. (2024). Safeguarding maternal mental health in the perinatal period. pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
- Johns Hopkins Medicine. (2025). Tips for first-time moms on pre-pregnancy, pregnancy and postpartum. hopkinsmedicine.org
- Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance. (2025). Components of mental health and wellness for pregnancy and postpartum. mmhla.org
- Gottman, J.M. & Gottman, J.S. (2007). And Baby Makes Three. Harmony Books.
- Surkan, P. et al. (2024). Anxiety-focused CBT for the prevention of postpartum depression. Johns Hopkins University.
- American Academy of Dermatology. (2025). Hair loss in new moms. aad.org
Frequently Asked Questions
- Will my body ever go back to normal after having a baby?
- Your body may not look or feel exactly the same as before pregnancy, and that is normal. Many changes, like a softer belly or wider hips, are part of recovery and not a sign that something is wrong.
- When should I start pelvic floor exercises during pregnancy?
- You can start pelvic floor exercises during pregnancy, and consistency matters more than intensity. They help support bladder control, core strength, and recovery after birth.
- Is it normal to have hair loss after giving birth?
- Yes, hair shedding around 2 to 4 months postpartum is very common. It is usually temporary and happens because hormone levels shift after pregnancy.
- Why does breastfeeding hurt in the beginning?
- Some soreness is common at first, but severe or ongoing pain is not something you have to just push through. A lactation consultant can help check latch and positioning early.
- What postpartum symptoms are normal in the first few weeks?
- Bleeding for several weeks, night sweats, and a very uncomfortable first bowel movement can all be normal after birth. If bleeding is very heavy, pain is severe, or you feel unwell, contact your doctor or midwife.
Olga R
a freelance writer and certified maternal wellness coach with a background in psychology and over two years of experience writing about motherhood, mental health, and relationships.
